Diary of a borderline

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inthetitansshadow asked: Hey there, thanks for following, how are you today?

I’m okay thank you, and yourself?

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So today someone decided to ask me (very randomly and to the point) 
“Why have you gained weight?”
At that moment, I felt my stomach drop, my mind cloud up and my eyes fill with tears. I didn’t cry, nor did I respond, I was honestly too shell shocked. I know I’ve gained weight, but the fact that someone pointed it out like that to me really hit me. Then I started to think about why apparently gaining weight, or being “fat” is the worst thing you can be, news flash - it isn’t. I would much rather be fat, than be cruel, or ignorant or judgemental. I also realised that whilst I tout self acceptance to anyone who will listen, I have a real hard time doing it myself. So here I am doing something very scary, but liberating. This is my body, and it is what it is. Sure I wish I was a few inches taller, a few inches narrower, that my boobs were bigger but I am a human and I should accept and rejoice in the fact that I’m (as my darling boyfriend says) perfectly imperfect. So from now on, I will not be ashamed of my body or go to unhealthy limits to try and fit societies idea of beautiful. We are all beautiful, each and everyone of us. Love and accept yourself. I hope my rambling made sense, idk. Haha.

So today someone decided to ask me (very randomly and to the point)
“Why have you gained weight?”
At that moment, I felt my stomach drop, my mind cloud up and my eyes fill with tears. I didn’t cry, nor did I respond, I was honestly too shell shocked. I know I’ve gained weight, but the fact that someone pointed it out like that to me really hit me. Then I started to think about why apparently gaining weight, or being “fat” is the worst thing you can be, news flash - it isn’t. I would much rather be fat, than be cruel, or ignorant or judgemental. I also realised that whilst I tout self acceptance to anyone who will listen, I have a real hard time doing it myself. So here I am doing something very scary, but liberating. This is my body, and it is what it is. Sure I wish I was a few inches taller, a few inches narrower, that my boobs were bigger but I am a human and I should accept and rejoice in the fact that I’m (as my darling boyfriend says) perfectly imperfect. So from now on, I will not be ashamed of my body or go to unhealthy limits to try and fit societies idea of beautiful. We are all beautiful, each and everyone of us. Love and accept yourself. I hope my rambling made sense, idk. Haha.

Filed under selfie bikini self love self acceptance body image body positive body acceptance self esteem curves curvy mental health body anxiety body worries liberation

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inthetitansshadow asked: I understand that feeling of being just a burden on everyone else. I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling with your feelings, but I am always around if you wish to talk about anything. I hope I can help in some way (fellow BPD sufferer here)

Thank you lovely, I really appreciate that! The same for you. BPD sucks right?